vacation

I got back from my vacation/trip to see Art Center last night. The whole vacation was simply amazing and with perfect timing. Sunday was spent at the Getty Museum. I found a new favourite photographer, August Sander. He does amazingly beautiful and intimate portraits of Germans at the beginning and middle part of the century. He captures not only their likeness but also captures people of the time. I bought tons of books and dvds at the museum. Then i went for a drive. I really decided to have fun and not be soooo concerned about having to do photography. It almost became a chore as of late. So i drove through mullholand drive and in the mountains. Then drove out to Santa Monica and drove up PCH. I finally stopped at a tiny little beach (i mean tiny) about 20 minutes north of Malibu. I sat there for about 4 hours. I took a couple pics but nothing was forced it was all naturally. I spent the first little while just reading. Then i realized, what am i doing reading. I really needed time to think and let my mind wander. So i did, I just sat in the sand and looked out into the ocean and let my mind freely think. It was a powerful experience. The ocean is a powerful, if not the most powerful, thing on the planet. Just staring out into infinity of water while listening to the ocean really was empowering. The moment felt like the moment in the documentary Rize when one of the dancers is Krumping at the ocean, such an emotional and powerful moment. I gained a lot of strength and happiness from that time spent at the beach. Monday I spent at the Art Center visiting the school. It really got me very excited. So much so that on my way home all i thought about was what i needed to do to exceed every other person that applies when i do so that i will get the top scholarship. i will be going. and sooner than i thought. i have a lot of work to do, but now i feel energized to do it. the trip really allowed me to step back and look at the bigger picture of my life and of photography. i found it is really important to start spending time on occasion at the beach. just to refresh myself. It is so easy to get caught in your own little world becoming drowned by all the small things.

i thank myself for this.

perception

it is amazing how much information is around us that we don't perceive. in fact we can't perceive it, because if we did we would go crazy. human beings have developed to be able to filter out information that is not needed. this innate ability is also a downside to human beings. too often we pay attention to what our focus on that we miss all the peripheral things. an artists job is to expand their perception and show the things most people never focus on in their lives. this is why artists such as friedlander are so popular. they show the everyday things that encompass our lives but that we don't pay real attention to as their are not our main focus. it is too easy to be focused straight ahead at something and miss something amazing off to the side.

a wonderful soul

it is not often that you meet a a stranger that touches you on a very deep level. today i photographed someone that to me is a hero. i am going to write a brief story of the things i can remember about him. This needs to go to down. He should be known about by more than just others in the ghetto. He is a former foster kid from the heart of richmond. Some of the roughest streets in the bay area. his mom was a cokehead and left him and his sisters. for weeks he had to steal to have him and his younger sisters eat. finally child services came and took them. at the age of 9 he was on the streets. he knew what a gun was, what sex was, and the life of the gang. He has stolen, shot, and dealt. You wouldn't realize this by talking to him today. He is so positive. He has a beautiful wife and an adorable 6 year old daughter. he speaks nothing but good things. he is laid back. and he will talk your ear off. he isn't one to think he is better than you because of his race, his hard upbringing. none of that matters to him. if you are a cool cat, than he will be cool back to you. he has been in drive by's. he has held his friends as they died from gunshot wounds. yet some how he managed to get a 1200 on his SATs and get a full ride scholarship for baseball to pepperdine. he declined this scholarship as he wouldnt leave his younger sisters and the he was helping raise a kid that wasn't him. instead he chose to stay in the bay. he speaks spanish and arabic. he owns property and his own barbershop, where he employs ex felons trying to make a new life. we walked around for hours just talking. he is one of the smartest most down to people i know. and we come from two opposite sides of the world. i was just blown away listening to stories he would tell and then the next sentence would talk about how he loves the history channel or how none of that matters cuz he is out of the game and has a wonderful wife and daughter who he adores. he isn't afraid to show his affection for his wife or daughter. pictures of his daughter litter his chair at the barber shop. he has touched me in a way that no one has. he admitted that yea it is hard growing up in the ghetto, but really it isn't that hard to get out and do something with your life. its a mind set that sadly many folks dont realize. god bless him and his family. he has a beautiful soul and i am proud to have talked with him and photograph him. he deserves the best that life has to offer. the absolute best. i came away from photographing him a better person. i came away from photographing not thinking of myself and my life. but about how to help others. he is the most amazing person i have ever met.

digital photography

can be a wonderful thing in the right context.



but it has also lead to a degradation of photography that people are now considering and being grown up on as good work. digital photography can lead to work without purpose and without soul. in the right hands, it can lead to amazing things, as photography is the art of seeing and expression your vision. i can sometimes fall into this trap of nothing really 'seeing' what i am looking at. relying on photoshop is extremely dangerous.

light test

i had some time to kill before the model arrived. so i tested the light against the wall.





still very frustrated with bringing my photography up another level of professionalism. Need to do better.

just found this quote which has helped me smile a bit through the frustration. it is from the photographer John Sexton. He is a master printer and ex photo assistant to Ansel Adams.

"Brett Weston used to say that photography is 90% sheer brutal drudgery and 10% inspiration. I tell my workshop students it’s that 10% that keeps us coming back.

I see myself as a professional, and my definition of a professional is that you have to do a good job even on a bad day. You want your doctor to be professional [laughs]. You don’t want to see their work suffer just because they’re having problems with their family. I think it is the same thing with photog-raphy. There are some days I don’t want to go in the darkroom to make a print to fulfill a commitment. I would much rather go in and play with a brand new negative, but I can’t because I have to honor my commitments.

But on those occasions when I look at the ground glass, or turn on the white lights while anxiously holding a piece of film, or look at a freshly squeegeed print, that’s the exciement that keeps me going."

self-confidence

Self-confidence is the first requisite to great undertakings.

now repeat 100x

black and white practice

spent the night practicing black and white skills in photoshop.

corner liquor store.

so many choices

it is exciting yet scary to know which way to go with my photography. one side of me wants to be a celebrity portraitist and musician photographer, another side wants to be a photojournalist and travel the world, another side wants to travel in america and be a fine art portraitist who does some editorial work to pay bills. rawrrrrrrrrrrrr. the choices the choices! whichever i choose, i know i will be great at it. great things will happen.