aim

aim beyond what you think your abilities are. that is the way to be great; that is the way to do something extraordinaire; and that is the way to do something that no one else has done before.

perfectionism.

from the book "the Artist's Way" by Julia Cameron. These lines really rang true to how I am.

"Perfectionism has nothing to do with getting it right...Perfectionism is a refusal to let yourself move ahead. It is a loop--an obsessive, debilitating closed system that causes you to get stuck in the details of what you are [photographing] and to lose sight of the whole. Instead of creating freely and allowing errors to reveal themselves later as insights, we often get mired in getting the details right. We correct our originality into a uniformity that lacks passion and spontaneity. 'Do not fear mistakes,' Miles Davis told us. 'There are none.'...Instead of enjoying the process, the perfectionist is constantly grading the results...To the perfectionist, there is always room for improvement. The perfectionist calls this humility. In reality, it is egotism. It is pride that makes us want to write a perfect script, paint a perfect paining, perform a perfect audition monologue [, photograph a perfect portrait.] Perfectionism is not a quest for the best. It is a pursuit of the worst in ourselves, the part that tells us that nothing we do will ever be good enough--that we should try again. No we should not."

I always thought a successful person was a perfectionist. Well maybe they are in some professions, but in art I am beginning to see how it can be a great hindrance to creativity. By focusing so hard and worrying so greatly about taking the perfect portrait [especially with environmental portraits], I block my creative side. That is one reason I end up taking so many of the same fucking shots over and over. Trying to make it perfect. It will never be, especially in my mind. I need to take the shot and move on. Move the person to the next idea - environmentally. This will make me more free to be creative. Besides, in my mistakes, I will learn the most. This is going to free up my environmental portraits so much. From now on, I will stop trying to take the perfect picture. I will be more free. I will move around more. I will experiment and not be concerned if I am taking a great shot.

review and reenergizing

today was review of my work from the last two months. I am have made some great progress. it is good to step back and look at the over outlook of my work. it is easy to get caught in the day to day work and not see the overall advancement in my work. after the review, i went to ocean beach. the weather was perfect. super foggy. chilly. perfect day at the s.f. beach. that is the way i love my beaches. it was fairly empty (at least for ocean beach). spent the afternoon listening to music and looking at the waves crash. very energizing. very powerful. i am ready for the next step.

photos taken with cell phone.

random thoughts

as an artist, i think it is detrimental for your own work to look at too many other photographer's work - especially as a student/young photographer still trying to define your style. although, it is a fine line. i think it can be beneficial to look at legendary photographer's work to be inspired and to learn (the best learning is to study the past and move on). Yet, it can be easy to compare your work to theirs. At some point, you need to stop looking at others work (if not completely then to the point where you only browse at others work on occasion). The reasons being: it is easy to have other photographers work influence your own vision and get it muddled and confused, you can get excited by a particular style and try to incorporate that into your work (with no real purpose) - to me that isn't being original. I think this is especially true of young photographers still developing your style who get easily influenced by others work. I notice myself when I look at others work that often I try to implement some of that persons work into my next shoot. This takes you off track of your own style and your own purpose in your work. Another photographer chooses to do something photographically for their own purpose and to answer their own question. It is a personal choice. Your own style and work should be affected by your own questions and purpose. As you begin to be more comfortable with your style and your purpose, then other people's work will not affect your own vision. look at peoples work for the sheer joy of the photograph and the process, not to influence your work.

solitude in nature

Sunday morning I went for a short drive. I originally was going to go past San Pablo Damn road to Richmond and loop back around home. I had gone through Orinda when I saw a turn to go up to Tilden Regional park. Perfect. I took the turn and made my way up to the park. Something about having your windows down, with a slight chill in the air driving up a windy road surround by redwoods, pine tress, and eucalyptus (my favourite smell!!). I made my way to Anza lake. There was hardly anyone there. I sat at a bench looking out at the small quiet lake. The sun bounced off the lake through the intermediate high clouds. The light made the most memorizing texture as the water slowly rippled its way towards me. So beautiful! So inspiring. Made me want to paint abstractly. Texture of light and shadow. After sitting peacefully and relaxing. I took a short hike down into Wildcat Gorge. It is this small gorge with incredible amounts of flora and fauna protected by massive branches and trees. The light in the gorge was spectacular. The mix of cloud softened sunlight and the tree branches even softened it more. I could see shadows but they were so soft. The dynamic range from shadow to highlight was small and soft and so beautiful! It was wonderful to just be alone surrounded by the serene creative beauty of nature. I plan to walk in nature more. It is relaxing. Refreshing. and a great place to clear your mind.